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Ferengi Love Songs

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Production Number: 518
Original air week: 4/21/97

Written by: Ira Steven Behr & Hans Beimler
Directed by: Rene Auberjonois

Guest Stars:

Cecily Adams as Moogie (Ishka)

Max Grodénchik as Rom

Chase Masterson as Leeta

Tiny Ron as Maihar'du

Hamilton Camp as Leck

Jeffrey Combs as Brunt

Special Guest Star: Wallace Shawn as Grand Nagus Zek

Spellings: "???"

Notes:

Moogie and the Nagus are key players in a situation that's trouble for Quark.

Cecily Adams is the second Moogie; Andrea Martin was the first.

Rules of Acquisition:

18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. -- Quark

94. Females and finances don't mix. -- Rom (*)

208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than asking the question is getting the answer. -- Zek [Exact quote not certain]

229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. -- Rom (*)

(*) -- Rules 94 and 229 were listed in the handbook "The Rules of Acquisition" from June, 1996. This is the first time Rules originally from that book have been used on-screen.

The Author's Keyboard:

Robert Hewitt Wolfe:
Andrea Martin wasn't available because of some impossible scheduling conflicts. But I understand Cecily Adams did an amazing job at her audition.

Depressed over his lot in life--especially being blacklisted by the Ferengi Commerce Authority--Quark goes to his world of Ferenginar for some comfort from his mother, Ishka. The free-thinking Ishka is sympathetic, but clearly uneasy over his declaration that he will be "living" with her for an unspecified period of time. Quark soon learns the reason behind her uncertainty. When he enters his old bedroom, he finds Grand Nagus Zek--the Ferengi leader--hiding in the closet! It turns out that Ishka and Zek are in love. When Quark discovers an underhanded way to get a new business license, will he sacrifice his mother's happiness in order to regain his standing in Ferengi society?

Program Highlights

STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE: "Of Love and Profit" -- Quark sacrifices his mother's happiness in order to regain his standing in Ferengi society.

TV Guide Ad

AN AFFAIR TO DISMEMBER
Quark must destroy the power behind the Ferengi throne.
There's just one problem--it's his mother!

TV Log Listing

Will Quark break up his mother's romance? STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE.

DETAILED REPORT

Depressed over his lot in life -- especially being blacklisted by the Ferengi Commerce Authority -- Quark goes to his world of Ferenginar for some comfort from his mother, Ishka. The free-thinking Ishka is sympathetic, but clearly uneasy over his declaration that he will be "living" with her for an unspecified period of time. Quark soon learns the reason behind her uncertainty. When he enters his old bedroom, he finds Grand Nagus Zek -- the Ferengi leader -- hiding in the closet! It turns out that Ishka and Zek are in love.

Zek demands Quark keep their affair a secret, and Quark agrees, thrilled that his mother is now the beloved of the most powerful man on his world. But when Quark hints that he would like Zek to reinstate his revoked business license, Zek refuses, reminding Quark that it is up to the F.C.A. Quark returns to his room, where Liquidator Brunt, the F.C.A. agent who revoked his license, confront him.

Brunt offers to give Quark a new business license if he breaks up Zek and Ishka. Quark agrees, and soon places doubts in Zek's head about Ishka's motives. The plan works -- his mother is left heartbroken. Quark feigns sympathy, then contacts Brunt, who keeps his word and gives him the business license.

Zek offers Quark the position of First Clerk. Quark happily accepts -- then discovers the Nagus is not the profit-making whiz he once was. By day's end, the Ferengi market exchange has experienced a drastic slide due to the Nagus's failing memory. A stunned Quark returns , where Ishka reveals that she had been helping Zek. Quark realizes that his mother was more than Zek's lover -- she was the power behind the throne. Ishka, in turn, realizes that Quark turned Zek against her, and may have destroyed the Ferengi economy in the process.

Quark encounters Brunt, who reveals that the entire plan was a set-up designed to help him become the new Grand Nagus. Quark is free to return to Deep Space Nine, but feels too guilty over what he has inadvertently done. The next day, Quark saves Zek by supplying him with enough brilliant advice to turn around the economic situation, but then reveals that the advice actually came from Ishka. After Quark admits to breaking them up, Zek and Ishka happily reunite.
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