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Who Mourns For Morn? Airdate: Week of February 2, 1998
Written by: Mark Gehred-O'Connell
Directed by: Victor Lobl
In short: Two minutes of humor and about forty minutes of
pointlessness. Well, at least it seemed that way.
Brief Summary:Morn apparently has died in an ion storm, and Quark
learns that the barfly has bequeathed to him 1000 bars of latinum. That's
right.
Hijinks ensue.
Review: Coming in, I was hoping for "Morn" to be a funny episode,
not only because I like the funny shows, but because I need material for a
funny review. Funny reviews are likeable reviews. Funny shows are likeable
shows. "Morn" was not funny and thus not likeable. It's the first bad
episode of the year (if you say the year began on January 1st, he he), but a
larger disappointment because the subject matter had so much potential.
Having the episode be utterly predictable was the fundamental, end-all
be-all problem. I knew once money became involved that Quark would go ga-ga
and others would get involved in the hunt. I knew once I saw the painting
(why did the crook hit Quark with it?) that it would have something in it.
I knew once I saw the "latinum" it would turn out to be phony. I knew once
Morn's "friends" popped up with different stories that none of them would
turn out to be true. And so forth. The episode had no element of suprise -
an essential element, surprise is, to the quirky shows. One minute you've
got a simple story, then robotic dinosaurs get involved, then comes Internal
Affairs with lassos, and suddenly the chef is serving dead dogs in the
restaurant. Or something like that.
Well, if it ain't unpredictable, it can still be funny. Was it? Not
really. I could see the jokes coming too. Morn talks *so* much, he's *so*
sexy, he's *such* a good fighter. Add into it the fact that every actor
seemed to be having an off day, meaning every line had about as much impact
as a Glass Joe punch from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, and you get a mess more
uninspired than the latest cuckoo cult in the Texas hills.
There were, I admit, two fantastic scenes. The first was the opening
sequence. I loved the holographic Morn, because in a way the idea of a
completely immobile and unchanging Morn seemed so on target. Dax going pale
as a ghost upon seeing holo-Morn was a nice turn, and really set us up for
the shocking announcement right before we went to commercial. Quite good.
The other scene was in Quark's chambers and was when all the former partners
finally met. The comments from everyone about the need for a better lock,
Quark trying to keep everyone from hiding near each other, his motions to
the "security chief" in an attempt to say "We have company," and his comment
following the hijinks about the chief being not being up to snuff were all
delightful. Too bad the whole episode couldn't have had that.
Of course, the theme of Quark going after money is so tired that I'm
surprised there were enough jokes left to have two good scenes. Take this
as a sign writers. Maybe Quark could have a serious show? Maybe, please?
Didn't have to be this one though. Alas, I can picture the scene in
Quark's room as one story in a much larger show. Why not have a plot
about the various crewmembers telling stories about their adventures with
Morn? They could sit at a table and reminesce - something Trek hasn't done.
That way, the show might have had depth! There could have been a discussion
of - gasp - life and death! Quark could have talked about how he almost
died going after Morn's money, Dax could talk about the time she and Morn
saved Bajor, Bashir could discuss the liver transplant Morn gave that saved
a boy's life, etc. It would have had the dirt on Morn that the Cult of Morn
so loves, while giving the episode a unique quality and a sense of
quirkiness. Morn doesnt even need to talk in the stories! And it doesn't
hurt to actually *use* the cast, since you are paying for them.
While we are take chances, why not gamble a little with the character of
Morn? Why not make Morn the actual crown prince? Yes, having him be a bank
robber was pretty cool, and the guile he used to get rid of his former
partners was pretty cool as well, but it doesn't blow you away. Give him a
bizarre, crazy past. Make him a former woman, or the inventor of something,
or an autistic genius, or an alien sent to observe O'Brien's sex life, or
*something.* The idea of taking this in-joke to great extremes isn't bad,
but failing to follow through with it is.
I'll suppose I'll mention the aliens since I need another paragraph. The
Jack Nicholson imitator alien was pretty cool. I did like how he made his
brother apologize, and how he and his brother managed to play off each other
in a quirky way... until the end, when their sudden dislike for each other
led to a shootout. The Larell character was quite attractive, for sure, but
it was rather obvious that she was trying to fool Quark, and as a result the
plot didn't come off. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if Quark had any
idea of who was getting what percentage of Morn's money, or even if he
intended to give any money out at all. Maybe he did - the fact the episode
was about double-crossing the double-crossers just wasn't interesting enough
to keep me focused, even after a second viewing. "Security Chief" Hain, by
the way, was nothing terribly remarkable, a victim of too many guest actors.
Too bad for all of them, since their acting went fairly well.
So, all in all, there isn't much to redeem the show. I'm sorry if I'm
being hard on it, but we've had two humorous shows this year already, with
*another* following "Far Beyond the Stars." It isn't as bad as
"Resurrection," since it was only mostly, not completely, predictable, but
it was down there on the crappy scale. Hopefully "Far Beyond" will balance
things out nicely next week...
Some short takes:
- Well... it's cool to know where latinum comes from finally. Always
wondered what gold-pressed meant...
- The O'Brien/ Bashir bit about the chair was pretty funny... come to
think of it, it wasn't. If you're thinking that I am having trouble writing
this review, you're right. This review is about as boring as the episode!
-Word on the street is that the Bajoran man given Morn's chair at the
memorial was none other than Mark Shepherd - the guy who plays Morn.
- Dax's crush on Morn has been mentioned before, as well as his penchant
for talking. Perhaps Worf and Morn began sparring following the events of
"Looking for par'Mach," where Worf hit Morn???
- Maybe it's a coincidence, but the two worst shows this year centered
around fan favorites in demand - Morn and Vedek Bareil.
Rating: D-
Quote: Quark: "I wonder who came up with the idea of suspending
liquid latinum inside worthless bits of gold."
Dax: "Probably someone who got tired of making change with an eyedropper."
Dax, on target with a remark. Too bad the show wasn't on target...
Next week: Emmy?
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